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Does anyone have an idead where to find guidelines for entering addressees and salutations? For example, when does the women come first, when does the man, how to list haphenated last names, if a couple is of the same sex, what order are they placed in, etc. I am trying to create business rules for my organization, but it would be helpful is I had somewhere to start from!
Hmmm.... for proper etiquette, I would do a google search on this. Beyond that, I would say it is up to the individual donor to say how they would like to be addressed. On our gift response slips, we always offer the donor a chance to request how they are listed/addressed. And, trust me, the ones that care will tell you!
Depending on how you're capturing the info, you could use whatever the donor puts first... so if they have Mrs & Mr on their cheque book, then put it in that way.... and so on. If they don't have a preference that's obvious, I just go with whatever name comes up first
The only specific etiquette I know for sure is that if the couple is Jewish, the man's name always goes next to the last name, so generally the woman is listed first. Other than making sure titles are used appropriately (such as Dr., Honorable, etc.) it is up to the individual.
Our procedure is that the primary addressee/salutation is always the formal - Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Unless the constituent tells us otherwise. All mailings that come from the President use the primary. For those people who the President knows personally, we've created an addressee/salutation for the President to use for those people. Likewise, if anyone else in our organization has a personal relationship with someone, they can create their own addressee/salutaiton.
But general rule of thumb is only the constituent can tell us to change their primary addressee/salutaiton. This helps out with mailings.
__________________ Angie
Wycliffe Bible Translators
Advancement - Operations Manager "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
We follow the same formal procedure - Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. When our CEO signs the letter and it is someone she knows personally, she crosses the name(s) (after Dear....) out and writes the name(s) in pen over it.
__________________ Andrea Shlasko
Database Manager
Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sun Coast Inc.
"Just another day in Paradise, where every meal's a banquet and every day's a holiday"
We set up rules for our organization which may not work elsewhere. Primary addressee is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. but we use an informal salutation on just about everything. It was decided to put the woman first for the informal salutation: Dear Mary and John, -- then for recognition for those who do not give us a preferrence we use John and Mary Smith with appropriate class years. I don't know who, or when these things were decided, but that is what we are staying with as I don't want to change all the lisings.
Should a constituent make any request for something else, we of course honor their request.
However, if you want the proper, old fashioned way, you never separate a man from his last name. so the listing should be should be Mary and John Smith.
__________________ Nina T. Williams The Cleveland Institute of Art Making Art Work
This is what we do: Since we don't always know if couples with different last names are married, we would address them as Ms. Mary Smith & Mr. Bill Jones. Salutation: Dear Ms. Smith & Mr. Jones.
As one of our (older) volunteer solicitors said once upon a time, "There are just so many couples keeping company that you don't ever know how to address them!" It cracks me up...'keeping company'!
I think I usually resort to the Mrs. Mary Smith-Jones and Mr. Bill Jones.
Thanks for your sorries - there is still an opportunity for an injury though - it depends on whether my husband is compassionate and sympathetic. If not - well, he could get injured.
__________________ Andrea Shlasko
Database Manager
Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sun Coast Inc.
"Just another day in Paradise, where every meal's a banquet and every day's a holiday"
OK - this post goes back a few months, but this next question fits so well.....
I have many instances where the wife did not take the husbands last name. How do you list them?
Mrs. Mary Smith and Mr. Bill Jones
Mr. Bill Jones and Mrs. Mary Smith
Mr. and Mrs. Jones
and what about salutation?
Dear Mrs. Smith and Mr. Jones
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jones
????
I know that asking them their preference is correct, but first I want to acknowledge their gift..... and I have to address the letter and envelope.
Thoughts?
Andrea - We have made the decision to move to an informal add/sal for our primary add/sal. So unless a donor specifies otherwise, it's Mary Smith & Bill Jones/Dear Mary & Bill.
What way is it written on the check? Unless the title and surnames are given as Mrs and Smith-Jones, I would address the couple as Ms Smith and Mr Jones. I think it's a bit old-fashioned to assume that if the woman has not replaced her surname with the man's name, that she has added it to her name and the man hasn't... there are a lot of assumptions and sensitivities to avoid, I would say. The safest bet is to go with the marital-neutral Ms and her name Smith.
But then, I am not from the American culture, I'm Irish, so things might be a bit different over there.
If you are just going by what is written on the check without any prior knowledge about the two people you may get yourself in trouble. Been there, done that. They my not be married or even "keeping company". They may be mother and son or father and daughter. Many children are now being included on the checks of their elderly parent.
If this is a new donor I would enter the check signer as the donor and the other person as a relationship using type: "Additional name on check" until the circumstances have been cleared up.
__________________ Michael J. Sherman
Database Administrator Sarasota Orchestra (name change 9/3/08)
The new Florida West Coast Symphony
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
